I love the topic that Wrae has chosen to write about. It’s all about having people in your corner. People who will support you when times are tough, but also when times are going great. We, especially as women, need supportive people in our lives. We crave it. We yearn for it. Often times, we want it so badly that we form relationships that are not truly in our best interest, just so that we have some kind of connection, with someone.
Over the past couple years I’ve had different experiences happen in my life, that cause me to question if my friends/family are truly my support. If they aren’t, I am learning to let go. No ill feelings. No holding blame. Instead, I inwardly thank them for being in my life. They were there in my life for a reason, to teach me something, and for that I am thankful, but know that I must move forward.You are the average of the 5 people who associate with most. Click To Tweet
The past couple of years has taught me to look at the people I’m around and to develop relationships with those who truly get me. They support me in all I do. They cheer for me. They slap me (not literally) when I need a wake up call and they are a shoulder to cry on. These people have helped me get where I am today. I would not have the successes I have in life, without their guidence and love and for that I will be forever grateful.
So, here’s to finding those priceless people, who will cheer for you when you’re succeeding and pick you up when you’re falling, for we all need these people in our life. And remember, we also need to be this type of person for others as well.
Some people come into your life right when you need them. Some people are wonderful for you, and some people just aren’t. They may start out as wonderful and are a lot of fun to hang around, but then you start to see them as they really are. That’s when the trouble begins. They complain all the time about the same thing but never change their situation. They tell you that you will never get the person you love so much to love you back, no matter what, because his reputation is so bad.
Those are the people that might be a blast to hang out with and pick you up off the floor when you fall off a barstool and bust an eyebrow, but when the second love of your life dies, they turn on you in a second.
This isn’t a soap opera storyline. This is what happened to me. I really did fall off a barstool, and have the scar on my left eyebrow to prove it. (My husband had to come get me. No way was I driving that night!) The second love of my life (not my husband, and that’s a whole different type of blog) did die in 2015, and my so-called friends turned on me before I could even stop crying after I found out. They spread horrible rumors. They sent nasty texts. I never went back to that job. I learned about toxic friendships the hard way.
I didn’t feel lonely, though, because my real friends showed up. They almost drug me out of my house because I didn’t want to do anything. They called me daily because of my drinking. It was already bad but got worse. They made sure I got out of bed. I simply blocked the fake ones and kept going. On the bright side, however, I made a new friend that helped me out of the darkness that I fell into. I’m pretty sure I have done the same for her.
*Sheila was *Will’s cousin, and we met at his visitation. She had heard about me through his brothers (who I was also friends with) and we have been very close friends ever since. We talk daily and our daughters are best friends. We have cried, laughed and had many adventures together. When Will’s monument finally came in, we went to the cemetery and cried together.
Surrounding yourself with people who care about you is priceless to your mental health. It adds to your feeling of security. You know you can trust these people, that you can call them and know they will try their best to help you, no matter what the problem is. If you’re having a good or bad day, they are there. Even if you are literally having one of the worst days of your life, they’re there.
These people encourage you to be the best you can be. They encourage you before a job interview, to lose those last 20 lbs that you have been trying to lose forever. They ask you how your latest therapy session went. One of these people can be better than five or six of the people you left behind.
It’s not always easy to see if people are sincere or not. I don’t trust easily these days. I really thought my friends were awesome and I was even helping one plan her wedding. She tried to look me up not long ago on LinkedIn. I blocked her. There is nothing she can do for me. Ever.
How can you tell if someone is sincere?
- When you call them, they’re actually there for you. I can’t begin to explain my shock when my friends turned on me suddenly. I never expected it. I was really lost for a while. What’s more, sincere people want to be there for you. They want to be there to help you whenever they can, even through your really bad moments.
- They care. This is a pretty simple one. When you out drink everyone in the room and it’s time to go home, giving your husband a trash bag so that if you throw up it won’t destroy the inside of his truck, that shows someone cares.
- They ask you every day how you are doing. They want to know if you are really okay, and do not accept “I’m fine” especially if the day before was a bad one.
People are priceless. Everyone needs people in their lives, some more than others. It’s just a matter of finding the right people.
Wrae is a life coach in Louisville, KY. Her business caters to those dealing with life’s transitions and parents of special needs children. When she is not coaching, she enjoys reading, true crime podcasts, and movies. She is married and has three children. You can find Wrae on her website Brave Wings Coaching Facebook or on Instagram. You can also e-mail her at firstname.lastname@example.org