Are you gullible? Do you tend to believe most of the things that people tell you? How about the lies that you tell yourself? Are you falling for those lies too??
It’s no lie, we are our own worst critic.
That’s just the way it goes.
We see our faults.
We see our failures.
We know we could do better.
We beat ourselves up each night before bed, thinking of all the things we could have done differently that day.
Thoughts run back and forth in our mind. Thoughts that are telling us lies.
Lies that we start to listen and hold onto as if they were the truth.
Lies that we must get rid of.
Here are a few lies that I’ve fallen into before.
1.My Kids Needs ALWAYS Come First
Okay. Don’t stop reading now and get all worked up, thinking that I’m saying our kids don’t matter. Because trust me, my kids mean the world to me. Their happiness and success in life are why I try so hard to teach them all they need to know. It’s why I am driving back and forth a million times per day, taking them to all their events. It’s why friends come over and destroy the house I just cleaned. This is the reason I make homemade meals that they cry and complain about…or even the reason I decided to just skip the home-cooked meal and get take-out.
Their happiness means the world to me.
But guess what, their chances of being happy and successful will DOUBLE if they see me as happy and successful.
You see, if I take care of myself, and show them how to love who they are, and to take care of themselves, and still, serve others, then my kids will learn to live a successful and fulfilling life. f I don’t make myself a priority, then what is that going to teach my kids?
It’ll teach them that they don’t matter…because mom doesn’t matter to herself.
Mama’s you HAVE to put yourself first so that you can be there for others.
It truly is the best thing you can do for your kids.
2. I Have to Say Yes to Everything
Oh my goodness!!! How many of you have fallen into this trap??
I’m raising my hand right now.
I’ve fallen into that trap…and sometimes I still do.
But for the past couple years I’ve made a conscious decision to think before I speak.
I mean, have you ever said yes to doing something and then a few second later you’re wondering why in the world you just committed to that?! Or even as you are saying YES, inside your mind is shouting no…but you still go along with it.
I was so busy trying to please and help everyone that I ALWAYS said yes. I was losing my mind though. I was saying YES to everything that wasn’t actually important so when something I TRULY WANTED to do came up, I didn’t have the time or the resources to do it.
I never had a moment to just be still. To just enjoy the present moment. As soon as one task was done, I was moving on to the next, and the next and the next.Just because you're not busy, doesn't mean that you're available. Click To Tweet
So, learn to say NO to people/things.Saying no really just means that you're saying yes to what's really important in your life. Click To Tweet
3. I’ll be Prettier/Happier When I Fit Into “X” Size of Jeans or Weigh “X” Pounds
News flash…if you’re waiting until you are “skinnier” to be happy, then you need to change that thought process right now.
Be happy now. Love who you are NOW.
We waste so much of our time, wishing our circumstances would change and thinking that when it finally does change…THEN we will be happy.
Because even if the number on the does scales drop, you’ll find something else you wish would change and you’ll be waiting for happiness once again.
So, just learn to love your body as it is now…like I had to do and mention HERE.
4. I Am A Bad Mom
Have you gone to bed, thinking of all the things you failed at that day?
You yelled at the kids 10 times because they wouldn’t get their shoes on and get out the door.
Your kids keep fighting, so you join the fight.
Your kids watched too much T.V.
You forgot the clothes in the washer…again.
You lost your cool and overreacted…multiple times.
You forgot to pick your son up from Scouts.
You forgot to take your daughter to dance practice.
You had cereal for dinner.
You ate that bag of chips, even when your diet just started the day before.
You didn’t exercise.
You got in an argument with your spouse.
You didn’t do this….
You did this….
We feel like a complete failure and think we are a “BAD MOM.”
You go to bed and you’re trying to sleep, but your mind is replaying all the things you did wrong that day.
Why do I have to overreact? Why can’t I remember to move the clothes to the dryer? Why do my kids fight all the time? Why. Why. Why.
We want to change, but we just can’t figure out how.
While we sleep, our mind is constantly going, and it’s thinking about whatever we last thought about before we fell asleep. So, if you’re thinking about how terrible of a mom you are, you’re going to dream that, and when you wake up in the morning, you’re going to feel that and your day will probably just be a repeat of the day before.
So let’s break that cycle.
When I am mentoring women, on this exact issue, I have them try a little exercise, each night before they go to bed.
They think about all the things they did wrong that day, and then they say, “I forgive myself.”
They allow themselves a little forgiveness for what they feel they did wrong that day. Some days, it’s hard to say it. Some days, they don’t feel like it at all. But they still say it and as they do it, they believe themselves a little more each time.
After they’ve forgiven themselves, they think of 3 things they did GOOD that day. It could be ANYTHING.
Maybe they made an awesome meal. Or they did remember to finish the laundry. Or maybe they didn’t give into the soda or sweets that they really wanted to eat.
Big or small, they think of at least 3 things they did good and they go to bed.
This helps their brain think of the good things they did and then they wake up the next day, knowing they can do more good things. They focus on the good.
Trust me, this small and simple exercise will make ALL the difference.
5. She’s a Better Mom
Oh boy, this could be a whole post in and of itself. I mean, I already talked a little bit about it HERE.
But I’ll just cover it a little bit here too.
I know how you feel. You walk into the grocery store and you see a mom who has her hair and makeup done, her kids are all dressed nicely and they are obediently walking through the store with her. She picks up all organic foods, nothing from the frozen or processed food section because you just know that she prepares every meal from scratch. Plus she has a cart full of what looks like decorations for her son’s Birthday Party that looks absolutely amazing! She’s that “PINTEREST” mom that we all want to be. She looks so well kept and put together, so she HAS to be a better mom than you are, right?
She is NOT a better mother than you.
Chances are she’s looking at you and see how amazing you are and how you have it all together, while she’s over there drowning in a long to-do list that she’s piled onto herself and wondering how in the world she can get out of doing everything. She sees you and thinks that you must be a better mom than her.
You’re not a better mom than her.
You know why? Because both of you are trying. Both of you are doing what you can at the moment, with the energy, resources, and talents you’ve each been given.
No one and I mean no one in this world is any better than anyone else.We need to stop looking at the 30-second glimpse we get of people, or even the Facebook view we have of them and… Click To Tweet
Is there something you could improve on? I guarantee it.
But I guarantee there are things that you are doing great as well.
So, forgive yourself for the things you aren’t doing right and go about changing them. Focus on them one at a time…not all at once because that’s just a recipe for disaster.
But most importantly, celebrate the things you are doing good. Celebrate YOU and what you bring to your family.
Just do you.
6. I Can’t Ask for Help
Do you feel like you have to do it ALL?
For various reasons, you feel like you can’t ask for help.
Maybe, you don’t want to be a burden on someone else.
Give someone the chance to help you. Sometimes, we NEED to help and serve other people. It helps us feel better. So, let someone help you.
Or perhaps, you think it’s a sign of weakness.
Maybe, you’re worried that if somone does something for you, they won’t do it how YOU would have done it.
Okay..maybe they won’t do it exactly how you want. But what’s wrong with that?? At least it is getting done, right?Done is better than perfect. Click To Tweet
I was losing my mind. I was feeling the weight of most of the housework on my shoulders. So I started having my kids help. They’ve had chores since they were about 3 years old and as they get older, they do more challenging chores.
But the dishwasher.
I couldn’t relinquish control of loading the dishwasher.
What if they load it wrong?
I know how to get the dishes to fit just right.
Finally, I gave in and realized my sanity was worth it.
Now my two oldest kids, load the dishwasher. Sometimes I cringe when I see how it is loaded, knowing I could fit a few more dishes in there, but I remember the main goal. And the main goal is to teach my kids how to work and to have enough dishes for our next meal. If that’s accomplished, then we are good to go.
Lastly, maybe you don’t have anyone you can ask for help.
Maybe you’re a single mom. Or maybe you live fare away from family. Or maybe your kids really are a bit too young to help.
I promise there is someone you can ask for help. You just have to get out of your comfort zone a bit. Meet new people and if you trust them, ask for their help.
Maybe you need a mentor because you just don’t know how to get out of this rut of negative self-talk so you can love yourself more.
Regardless, there is ALWAYS someone there to help you.When you can't get help from someone, don't forget to look up and ask for His help. Click To Tweet
If you have found yourself falling for these lies, that’s okay. At least now you know that they are lies. The ball is in your court. You can choose to continue to believe them, or to move on and leave them behind and cultivate the truths. I hope you’ll do just that.